chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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