p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize