"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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