this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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