Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
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There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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