i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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