So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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