No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
