Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
