note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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