Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.