it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.