is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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