I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
