I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
