He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize