If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
