the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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