Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Alive.
So much puke
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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