Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
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I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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