Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
