She is in my trunk
false alarm. still invincible.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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