it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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