Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
