Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event