sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.