Hey man sorry I got all grabby
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say