Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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