matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I love you.
Bad choice
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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