If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
