My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize