the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
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something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
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Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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