I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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