Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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