Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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