My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
