I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
