You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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