She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
where does the pee come out of this thing
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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