I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
