Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
