I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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