i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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