We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."