WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize