we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
