I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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