Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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