i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
