Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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