He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
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So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.