Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
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I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face