My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just google imaged poop.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP