My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.