Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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