Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
