as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
